200gms

That is how much I lost this week. I am going to take that 200gms and be happy.
This is a new week, and this week i'm going to do much better.

I want to eat

All I want to do right now is eat. I want hot chips, chips, steak and chips, burger and chips, pizza... this list could go on and on. Instead of eating, i'm here blogging and its not really making me feel satisfied. I am tired, grumpy and sad and its taking every inch of will power that I have to not go and just eat.
Luckly for me there are no chips in the house so I cant. I dont want to know what would happen if there was as i'm sure I wouldnt have been able to hold out all day.

I have my meeting tonight and i'm thinking of staying behind after and talking to my leader, hoping she can give me the boost I need to get back into the right head space.
I know i'm going to have these days/weeks through out my journey but it just plain old suxs to be in one right now.

I'm off to do more washing and have some chewing gum.

A week of struggles

I have really struggled with food and exercise this week. My two little girls have been playing up and I have felt stressed out and keep turning to food. I have pointed everything except one day. I did go over a few times but not by much and I figured I had my bonus weekly points to use.
I hate weeks like this, I know i'm doing it, I know i'm eating too much or picking and I have this battle inside my head trying to stop myself. Quite a few times I was able too, I would pick up some gum instead but other times I would just eat.

So tomorrow is weigh in day and I am now dreading it. If I manage to lose 100gms I will be happy but I have this horrible feeling i'm going to end up gaining. I dont want to gain, and I feel sick even thinking about.

I need to get out of this funk i'm in.... I need to get my head in the game

And they just keep going

I had weight watchers again last night, and yay!!! I lost 1.1kg. That makes 5.9kg in total :)

Best pizza ever

We had home made pizza tonight, and it was just delish!!
I use a Lebanese wrap as the base, very thin and crispy then I made a home made tomato sauce Jamie Oliver style. I put onion, mushrooms and some chicken on, then some fresh herbs from the garden. I pointed out some lite cheese and then a little bit of parmasan too.
The meal came to 12 points and I enjoyed every minute of it.

5km

I have just gotten back from a 5km walk!! I have not managed to go that far before and now i'm exausted. I want to get to the point that i'm comfortable walking that distance, then I want to start trying to, wait for it, run.
At least 3 times a week i'm going for big walks, for now its not so bad since its summer but i'm worried that once winter comes and its dark at night i'm not going to do exercise. I have a month and a half to come up with a plan.
Off for some dinner, I definatly think I have earnt it.

Another one bites the dust

I had my weight watchers meeting tonight. In two weeks I have managed to lose 2kg :) Last week I knew I had lost 1kg since I weighed at home and then another 1kg this week! So my total is now 4.8kg.
I cant wait to get to the 5kg loss next week, its the first real milestone that I get to celebrate.

I did learn a lesson tonight and it wasnt a very nice one. One of my favourite meals is chicken satay with rice. It is a really high point meal and I knew it would probably cause me to go over my daily points, meaning I would have to use my special weekly points. I wanted to have it for dinner on a monday night so I could work it off during the week.
Well I made myself the same amount I would have had before, a pretty big portion but I pointed it all out and was only just over so marked it down.
While I was eating it I started to feel full but because I was enjoying it so much I just carried on. After I had finished I started to feel yucky, my tummy was so full it was uncomfortable and I was feeling more and more sick.
To cut a long story short, I was sick. My body just couldnt handle that amount of food and it well and truely rejected it.
No more huge portions for me.

I want fish and chips

So I tried to make a post about fish and chips from my iPhone this arvo and it just didnt work, then it published the title and nothing else!
We have had a really good day today, we went to a friends parents bach, had a swim in their pool and a general hang out. The sun was shining and it was a really nice day.
We were driving home at about 5.30pm and the girls hadnt had their dinner yet. I got this huge desire to have some fish and chips, just sit on the beach and eat as a family.

I find myself envious of people who can do that, are able to have a take away fish and chips on the beach and then carry on as normal. I'm sure in time when i'm at goal i'm going to be able to do it too, have the odd take away and then keep on going the next day and it wont be a problem.

At the moment it is a problem, I wouldnt be able to control myself, and I know that. I would eat everyones leftovers, way too much, end up feeling sick or filled with hate for doing that. I would be fighting with myself the whole time to try and stop myself from over indulging.
This obsession I have with food is hard.

picking day

I'm having a picking day today, I hate it when i'm like this. I have pointed everything I have eaten but I dont ever feel satisfied because i've not had a proper meal.
Its 8.30pm now and i've still not had dinner, we have been out and about this evening and now I need to get motivated to make some dinner.
I'm so tempted to get a take away, but I dont have enough points so its lamb and salad instead.

Feeling fuller quicker

When I first started this weight loss journey I went out for lunch with a good friend. We had sushi and after I had eaten it I didnt feel satisfied but I stopped myself from eating any more. Well today Beth and I had sushi for lunch, I had the same pack as I did with my friend and this time after I finished I felt full and satisfied. I'm finally getting used to smaller portions and i'm not feeling hungry all the time.

I like the fact that I can eat normal looking portions now and not these HUGE ones, or going back for seconds. I like that half of my plate is veggies or salad now and the other half is meat and a carb of some sort.
The food part is starting to get easier finally.

Walking

I just got back from a walk, 50 minutes and i'm exausted!! I had my music going and I just pushed myself thinking of all the fun things I am going to do in Italy.
I really hate exercise but I want to like it. I want to be one of those people who enjoys getting their daily fix. Maybe in time when I get more fit it will be easier and more fun maybe?

Emotional eating

Today I had a sad day, everybody has them and today was mine. Nothing major just people saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
All afternoon I have had to fight the urge to eat because I was upset, I would look to the pantry then stop myself and walk away.
Why do I do this, why have I made food my emotional crutch? Why cant I just work through what I am feeling?
I think I know why. Its because its hard and I would have to deal with conflict and I hate that.

So today I just did my best to not emotionally eat and it went well until tonight.
I had four points left and I just went and ate a chicken sausage. They are 7 points each. I wanted to eat all four of them which were left in the fridge but instead I stopped at one and threw the rest out.
I wish I hadnt eaten that sausage, or at least only eaten half and not gone over my points, but I cant take it back so I have to move on.
Tomorrow is a new day